Oh Jeez...My Keys!

One of my very first clients was a super-cute Bichon Frise named Luke. Luke's family was going to Florida for spring break, and my job was to come to his house four times a day for playtime, feeding and walks. Picture the fun aunt who blows in and plays games, lavishes attention and doles out junk food--that's me. The first few times I stopped over everything went as planned, but by the second day Luke needed a change of pace.

Outside, the spring drizzle had turned to a downpour. With each clap of thunder Luke spazzed out. As I held the quaking ball of fluff in my arms, I decided I couldn't leave him home alone--he was in a state, clearly terrified of storms. Luckily, I was able to reach his owners by cell phone and they gave their blessing for me to take him to my house.

I loaded him in the car, along with an emergency stash of toys and snacks, just in case we wound up having a sleepover. To my relief, he was one of those dogs that loves to ride in the car. He bounded back and forth across the back seat, smearing dog snot all over the windows. As we drove, the rain let up a bit...the storm seemed to be blowing over.

On the way home I received a call from another client who wanted me to stop by and pick up my paycheck from him. It was on the way so I decided to swing by real quick.

This particular client happens to be my most important. He pays well, uses my services frequently, and gives great references to potential customers. He also happens to be a very particular former military man, who is demanding and tough on the hired help. As I pulled in the driveway I could see him peering out the front window. Ten seconds after I rang the bell, he yanked open the door and glared at me.

"Oh it's you. C'mon in."

We concluded our business and after I spent a few minutes petting his two spaniels, I skedaddled out of there quick like a bunny. No sense in making small talk with someone who doesn't find my wit and charm entertaining.

As I walked back to the car I could see Luke bouncing around from front to back like a beach ball at a Justin Bieber concert. The door handle snapped out of my hand as I tried to open my door. Locked! What the heck? Luke's mexican jumping bean routine had inadvertently caused him to pounce on the power door locks. I could see my keys laying uselessly on top of my purse on the passenger seat. Grrrgghhh!

I started dancing around the car, cajoling Luke to unlock the doors. If I could get him to hop around on the button just right...maybe, just maybe...ugh. That was never going to work. Meanwhile, he was having a splendid time hurdling himself to and fro, yapping like a lunatic.

Sergeant Spaniel came outside to see what the commotion was all about. His two big dogs circled around my car sniffing the delicious morsel locked inside. They looked at each other as if to say, "Got a can opener?" Inside, Luke continued to yip and play. As much as I hated to, I admitted to my client that my keys were locked in my car. After a few more minutes of begging Luke to unlock the door, I reluctantly asked Sarg for a ride home to get my spare set.

We rode to my house in silence--I was more embarrassed than the time I showed up to 9th grade homeroom with a bra hooked onto the back of my sweater. Once inside, I started ripping the house apart looking for my spare set of keys. Frantic to find them, I pulled out junk drawers and dumped them on the floor, rifling through batteries, birthday candles, and old receipts. I tore through the place like the Tasmanian Devil--but to no avail. The mother of all tantrams exploded out of me just as my fiancee, Jim walked in the door.

I shrieked, "LukelockedmeoutandandnowIcantfindmykeysandIamfreakingout!"

Calmly Jim told me it was okay and we could just call Triple A so no big deal. Deflated, I waded through the pile of rubble on the floor and went outside to tell my client we'd meet him back at his house. A few minutes later, when we pulled into his driveway, we parked behind my car, his car, and an enormous tow truck. Jeez, what a spectacle. As I walked up to the greet the mechanic he said, "Oh hi, you're the dog sitter, right? I got your keys for you a few months ago, remember?" I remembered. The men expressions all said, "Oooh, you're one of those women. Mmmmhmmm."

It took the guy all of fifteen seconds to pop the lock and rescue Luke. I thanked him, I apologized to my clearly annoyed client, and I drove off with Luke panting in my ear. By now the storm had passed and the sun was shining.

I thought about it and decided to take Luke back home. He'd had enough excitement for one day.

I said, "It's okay, buddy. You didn't mean to lock me out did you?"

Just as I looked over at him, he pressed his paw on the power window button and rolled down the passenger window, grinning at me the whole time.